Netflix’s Adolescence and the Reality of Bullying

Netflix’s series Adolescence takes us into the lives of high school students dealing with real-life challenges, ranging from mental health struggles and social pressures to issues like bullying. Although the show can been praised for its directing, the masterful use of the long take, and strong performances, I won’t be focusing on those elements here. Instead, I’d like to talk about one important theme in Adolescent that resonates with many parents in real life: bullying.

When Parents Discover Bullying

Parents can feel shocked and upset when they learn their child is involved in bullying, whether as the victim or as the one who bullies others. It’s normal to feel angry, guilty, or confused. Please know these feelings are common and valid. We all want to protect our children, and bullying can make us feel like we failed somehow. But there are ways to help.

How to Know Your Child’s Feelings

Kids sometimes hide their pain. They might be scared to speak up or worry about making things worse. Watch for changes in their mood or habits:

• Are they withdrawing from friends?

• Complaining of frequent headaches or stomachaches?

• Avoiding school or after-school activities they used to enjoy?

Talk to them gently:

• Reflect on their mood: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter than usual. Is there something on your mind?”

• Show you care: “That sounds really hard. I’m here to listen.”

• Build safety: Make sure they know you will not judge them.

Why Non-Judgment Helps

Bullying often comes from deeper problems, sometimes from stress or pain a child doesn’t know how to handle. If your child has bullied someone, try to find out what’s going on inside. Ask questions like, “How were you feeling when this happened?” or “What made you act that way?” If your child has been bullied, listen without blaming them for not speaking up sooner. Staying calm and open can make them feel safe enough to talk.

If Your Child Is Bullied

1. Acknowledge their pain. Don’t say, “It’s no big deal.” Recognize that they feel hurt.

2. Work with the school. Talk to teachers, counselors, or principals. They can keep an eye on your child’s situation.

3. Build self-esteem. Remind them of their strengths. Help them see they are more than what bullies say about them.

4. Seek help if needed. Therapy can offer a space for kids to share feelings and learn ways to cope.

If Your Child Bullies Others

1. Stay calm. Anger can make them shut down and stop talking.

2. Explore the reasons. Ask simple questions about their feelings. Find out if they are under stress or lacking healthy ways to express themselves.

3. Set boundaries. Let them know bullying is not okay. Show them better ways to handle anger or conflicts.

4. Get professional support. Counselors or therapists can help them learn positive social skills.

Taking Care of Yourself

As parents, it’s easy to forget your own feelings, shame, fear, guilt or anxiety but, they need attention, too. It’s important for you to find support as well, whether that’s talking to friends, joining a parent group, or seeking help from a mental health professional (if you live in the Zürich area you can contact me). Your well-being matters because it helps you stay strong for your child.

Moving Forward

The series Adolescent highlights how complicated and delicate the teen years can be, including the impact of bullying. As parents, our goal is to listen, show understanding, and guide our children toward healthier relationships. If you need more support, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. With empathy and open communication, it’s possible to help your child navigate these challenges and grow in the process.